Customer: "Halloo, can I order?"
Operator : "Can I have your cell number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eish ..., hold on .....eh.... 082-266-2566 ..."
Operator : "OK... you're .... Mr Sfiso Majola and you're calling from 17
2302 and your mobile is 082 266 2566. I see you are calling from your
girlfriend's home. Does your wife know you are there?
Customer: "How did you get all my phone numbers?"
Operator : "We are connected to the RICA System Sir."
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir."
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol levels, Sir."
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
the National Library last week Sir."
Customer: "OK I give up .. Give me three family sized ones then, how
much will that cost?
Operator : "That should be enough for yourself and your girlfriend's
family of 10, Sir. The total is R149.99!
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank R5 720.55 since June last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives."
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawals today."
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your Green Double Cab ...."
Customer: "What!"
Operator : "According to the details in the system, you own a Nissan
Double Cab, ... registration number NRB 132 GP ....."
Customer: " Foetsek, man.
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on the 15th July
1987? You were convicted for using abusive language to a policeman. I
need not tell you what happened to you at Kroonstad Prison"
Customer: [Speechless]
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing .... by the way ... aren't you giving me those 3
free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
diabetic ... "
Customer: "Please cancel the order, my girlfriend will have to cook!
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